To Snuff or Stoke the Passion?

I've been thinking about my brother's fooling around with death for some time now. Jai asking me abt him while we were chatting on msn yday only served to revive those thoughts. The incident from a cupla weeks back doesn't help either.

My brother, Afzal, is a fire-fighter with the Singapore Civil Defence Force; and a pretty good one at that. Or so he says. He has this passion for the fire-fighting profession that he discovered from within himself during his basic training at the Jalan Bahar camp and subsequently the Academy. He's told me before that he's in it not just coz he likes doing it, but also coz it pays well. Understandable, the higher the risk, the higher the returns. I know he likes the job, but I can't help feel this immensely uncomfortable feeling within me.

A fortnight ago, there was a tanker blast at Lim Chu Kang. He was activated to go for that call. When they got there, there was oil all over the road and the grass patches along the road. Tanker was in a drain. They couldn't use water for fear that the oil would then float and worsen the fire they were trying desperately to put out. They used foam instead, which is slower in retarding the flames, but unlikely to allow any reignition. As they managed to get closer to the tanker, they found the driver still trapped inside. They attempted to get the man out of the vehicle. When they were within metres of him, a second explosion from within the tanker engulfed the driver and the 2 nearest fire-fighters. One died on the spot from severe burns, and the second was brought to NUH for severe burns and smoke inhalation. He passed away a day later. The 3rd fire-fighter, my bro, escaped with bruises on his knee as he was thrown back by the force of the blast.

The immediate next mrn after that incident, he called me saying that he was coming to NUH to visit a friend and could meet me for lunch. I agreed and met him at the Science canteen. It was then that he told me all this. I just felt my blood turning cold when I thought of what could have been if Afzal had been a few metres nearer.

The 2 fire-fighters who'd lost their lives were NS boys. Teenagers....young punks....who had so much left of life to see, feel and enjoy. They weren't even chaps for whom fire-fighting was a career. WHY? What agony the families that lost these boys must be going thru? I'm feeling so sick of hearing abt NS boys losing life and limb. I came across so many during my time in the Police Force.

I struggle with quite a dilemma now because I'm proud of my bro for being a Fire-fighter, and I would rather encourage him in his passion than convince him to lead a boring life. I know what it feels like when pple tell you to drop what you are doing because its too "risky & dangerous". My folks told me that too when I was in the Special Ops. Then again, I don't want to lose him at any cost. Despite all our differences, fights and misunderstandings, he is still my brother. If trouble was my middle name, it seems to be his first name! He just can't seem to stay out of it. I pray for his safety now more than ever before.